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Asexual Quotes

These are quotes taken from various sources within the Doctor Who universe, compiled by the excellent acewyrds, in this post. I prettied them up a bit and posted them here.
  

LACK OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION

“His unnatural sexual orientation, and his imposition of that attitude on the asexual being of the Doctor, were typical of his attitude to life.”
---About Alan Turing and Eight, The Turing Test

~ * ~

[while quoting bits of shakespeare particularly relevant to their life at the time, to a woman who’s v clearly flirting w/them and who thinks they’re interested in return]
“‘Man delights not me –’ He grinned, and she allowed the tension to explode out of her own broad smile.
The Doctor let go of her hand abruptly and stood and marched away, telling her as he went, ‘No, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.’”
---Eight, Casualties of War

~ * ~

Amy: [questioning the Doctor about past companions] Hot?
The Doctor: No! No, no, no, no, no, none of them. Not really. Not at all. Probably not. [hesitates] Maybe one or two…? I didn’t really notice.
---Eleven, Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2

~ * ~

“'He spurned your desire.’
'It wasn’t like that.’
'You were curious about his own desires.’
'Of course I was.’
'But you have never seen or heard him articulate anything of the sort.’
'Sometimes… odd glimpses. The way he looks at certain people. Women and men. But he never acts on anything. There’s something about him that makes you think he’s beyond sex.'”
---Sam Jones about Eight, The Scarlett Empress

~ * ~

The Doctor: You look, er, amazing.
River: Doctor, you have no idea whether I look amazing or not.
The Doctor: Well, you’ve moved your hair about, haven’t you?
River: Well done. It’s very sweet of you to try.
---Twelve, The Husbands of River Song

~ * ~

Missy: He keeps trying to kill me. It’s sort of our texting. We’ve been at it for ages.
Clara: Mm, it must be love.
Missy: Oh don’t be disgusting. We’re Time Lords, not animals. Try, nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain, and contemplate friendship. A friendship older than your civilization, and infinitely more complex.
---The Magician’s Apprentice
(ok so really this is more aro than anything else but! she did say “reproductive” soooo)

~ * ~

The Doctor: You’re a beautiful woman, probably.
---Four, City of Death

~ * ~

The Doctor: Ah, hello. Can someone untie me, please?
Clara [attempting to tell if they’re the Cyber-Doctor]: Do you think I’m pretty?
The Doctor: No. You’re too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny.
---Eleven, Nightmare in Silver

~ * ~

[Amy leans on console flirtily, the Doctor reaches past her, hits a lever, steps away]
Amy: Oh typical bloke, straight to fixing his motor.
The Doctor: That’s the thing Amy, I am not a typical bloke.
---Eleven, Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2

~ * ~

[Christina’s attempting to distract Eight so she won’t have to answer their questions]
“Christina endeavoured to meet the Doctor’s gaze, trotting out a repertoire of useful expressions learned through years in the adversarial arena of trade negotiations. She started with a surprised 'Whatever do you mean?’ and ran the gambit of 'How dare you imply?’, 'I’m only trying to help’, 'I don’t have to take this abuse’, 'I’m harmless really’, before finally breaking down and hauling out the big guns - a look, pose and smile that said, 'I’ll show you all my secrets, Doctor, if you’ll show me yours.’
She could hear Anji sputtering her outrage in the background, and peripherally, the lanky fellow, Fitz, looking gob-stopped, but she didn’t let it break her concentration. The Doctor stared at her for a long, long moment and then he laughed. Right in her face.
'Is that supposed to make me go all wobbly in the knees and forget what I was asking?’
Christina pushed the sultry wave of hair that was obscuring her left eyebehind her ear again. 'It was worth a shot.’
'I should think a well-travelled person like yourself would take into account the variables involved in any sexual attraction. I could have a fetish for bunny slippers, which, I note you aren’t wearing.’
'Nooo,’ Christina said, 'I don’t think so. You haven’t got a fetishistic aura, or a homosexual one, for that matter. I’m pretty good at spotting those.’
He laughed again. 'Really? Yet, you failed to notice the “not entirely human aura.”’
Oh. That explains it.’
'No. No, it doesn’t.'”
---Eight, Grimm Reality

 

SPORADIC/NONEXISTENT SEX LIFE


“‘I don’t think he’d mind me having a boyfriend. If he noticed.’
‘Well, do you mind him having girlfriends?’
Miranda laughed. ‘He doesn’t.’
‘It’s not that ridiculous.’
‘My dad’s never had a girlfriend.’
‘What?’
‘Not since I’ve known him, as far as I know. Certainly not since he adopted me.’
‘Oh, come on, you’re just being naive. I know it can be pretty horrifying to think that your parents do it, but he must do.’
‘No.’
‘Never had a woman round to stay? A “friend”?’
Miranda smiled. ‘Once. About a year ago. She said she was an old friend, although Dad couldn’t remember her. She stayed here. Don’t look at me like that: she slept in a spare bedroom. Her name was Iris. Dad got on with her, but… no, he got all embarrassed when he accidentally caught her in the bath. She said she’d come to help sort things out and explain a few things, but she just ended up confusing us, to be honest. She left in a huff after a day or two.’”
---Eight, Father Time

~ * ~

Clergyman: You may kiss the bride.
[Elizabeth I kisses the tenth Doctor enthusiastically; they look considerably less enthusiastic]
War Doctor: Is there a lot of this in the future?
Eleventh Doctor: It…does start to happen, yeah.
---Ten, The Day of the Doctor

~ * ~

[After confessing their love to Craig as a distraction, the Doctor puts their arms around Craig’s neck and uses the sonic screwdriver on the not-a-lift situation/thing behind them]
Craig: Doctor, are you going to kiss me?
Doctor: Yes, Craig. Yes, I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I’ve had some wonderful feedback.
---Eleven, Closing Time

~ * ~

The Doctor: You’re getting married in the morning!
Amy: Well, the morning’s a long time away. What are we going to do about that?
[She pins them against the TARDIS and tries to undo their shirt]
The Doctor: Amy, listen to me. I am nine hundred and seven years old. Do you understand what that means?
Amy: It’s been a while?
The Doctor: Yeah. No, no, no. I’m nine hundred and seven, and look at me. I don’t get older, I just change. You get older, I don’t, and this can’t ever work.
Amy: Oh, you are sweet. Doctor. But I really wasn’t suggesting anything quite so long term.
[Amy kisses them; they try to push her away]
The Doctor: But you’re human. You’re Amy. You’re getting married in the morning. In the morning.
---Eleven, Flesh and Stone

~ * ~

“Lunder and Julya watched them go, Sam’s complaints gradually fading into the distance as she and the Doctor reached the tree line.
‘Funny pair,’ said Julya.
'Think so?’
'They obviously adore each other, but there’s nothing going on between them.’
'How do you know?’
'I can tell.'”
---About Sam Jones and Eight, The Janus Conjunction

~ * ~

“She became aware that she wanted to kiss him.
No . He’s the Doctor. He doesn’t kiss or cuddle up close and -
She wondered if he ever had. In all those years, all the women he talked about, the other companions.”
---Sam Jones about Eight, Dreamstone Moon

~ * ~

“‘Listen,’ said Sam. ‘The Doctor and that other Sam. Are they shagging, or what?’
Fitz looked as though he’d been hit round the head with a two-by-four. ‘Well,’ he said, after a few moments. ‘Well, I can’t say I’ve ever actually caught them at it.’
‘You think they are.’
Fitz pushed his hands even deeper into his jacket pockets, as if he was fishing in them to find his composure again. ‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘Maybe that’s why she’s always been able to resist me. Though I suspect that’s just her good taste at work.’
Sam laughed, blowing out smoke. ‘Her taste can’t be all that good,’ she said.
‘Yeah, well,’ he said. ‘Hmm.’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘Yeah. The hero’s best friend.’ The corner of his mouth crinkled, and he leaned his own chin on the armrest, a few inches from her own. ‘The one who never gets the girl.’
‘Thought that was him.’
‘Like I said, I wouldn’t know.’”
---Fitz & Sam about Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘Interesting,’ he breathed, as he moved his head softly from side to side.
‘Hitting different points on the strand seems to have different effects. Like stimulating different areas of the brain during surgery… This time I’m getting sudden, vivid memories of being ten years old. Getting caught skinny-dipping with a pretty female cousin of my acquaintance.’
He frowned. ‘Except that I don’t think I ever was.’
‘What?’ said Sam. ‘Skinny-dipping, or getting caught?’
‘Or ten years old?’ put in Fitz.
The Doctor flashed a smile from an odd angle. ‘Well, my people do frown on all three… ’”
---Eight, Unnatural History
(ok so skinny dipping isn’t inherently sexual but. shh)

~ * ~

“I wondered what it’d be like to have a love-life, if you could see things in all four dimensions. If you could lie in bed with somebody and see them as they’d look in forty years’ time, when their bodies were coming apart at the seams and their hair was falling out. No wonder the Doctor had never had a relationship while he’d been on Earth.”
---Sarah Jane Smith about Eight, Interference Book One
(also works as an aro thing)

~ * ~

“‘Now you can answer a question,’ she said. The Doctor cocked his head at her, so she kept talking. ‘Your travelling companions. Like Sarah Jane. Like Sam.’
‘Yes?’
She felt that smile tugging at the edges of her mouth again. ‘Do you ever get… urges?’
It was hard to describe exactly what happened to the Doctor’s face at that point.
‘I’m only asking because of the state your body’s in,’ I.M. Foreman told him. ‘There’s a lot of material in your biodata I don’t think I recognise. And I think some of it looks a lot more human than it’s supposed to.’
‘Sometimes,’ said the Doctor.
Suddenly, all the character had gone out of his face. He’d stopped acting, the way he usually did only when he was asleep. For once, he was telling the absolute truth. ‘Only since I regenerated into this body,’ he added, a little too quickly. ‘It started after the change. It wasn’t an urge, as such. It was just a feeling that… there was something missing. That there was an element to my life I’d been ignoring.’
‘Love?’ suggested I.M. Foreman. The word sounded flat and stupid in Magdelana’s mouth.
The Doctor shook his head. ‘Romance, I think. The excitement of being close to someone. The need to exchange ideas on a more personal level. To be able to tell someone what you really believe. To express things in ways that make sense only if you’re attached to another… well, if you’re attached.’”
---Eight, Interference Book Two
(that’s. really not how biodata works ms foreman. u don’t?? absorb ppl’s dna by banging them??? like. no. so if there’s any humany stuff around it’s bc of the bullshit half-human thing, or. traces on their lips from kissing or something, like in smith and jones) (also doctor, that’s. u don’t need romance to have those things. they’re not inherently romantic my dude)

~ * ~

Cassandra-Doctor: Oh, my. This is different.
Rose: Cassandra?
Cassandra-Doctor: Goodness me, I’m a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used.
---Ten, New Earth

~ * ~

[The Doctor is making a sketch of Joan]
Joan: Can I see?
[The Doctor sits next to her, shows her]
Joan: Oh, goodness Do I look like that? Are you sure that’s not me? [A Slitheen on the previous page]
The Doctor: Most definitely this page. Do you like it?
Joan: You’ve made me far too beautiful.
The Doctor: Well, that’s how I see you.
Joan: Widows aren’t supposed to be beautiful. I think the world would rather we stopped. Is that fair? That we stop?
The Doctor: That’s not fair at all. [They stroke her hair and then kiss her] I’ve never, er—
---Ten, Human Nature

 

DISINTEREST IN SEX/KISSING/ETC


[after asking whether a couple people had been invited to magic ritual thing; also relevant: there are naked women present—naked ostensibly bc it makes them closer to nature/magic]
“'How about Vernon Flood?’
'Jesus, do you know everybody? Again, like, no way. The guy’s a major loser. Dupre wouldn’t touch him with a pole. I mean, he’d just come to see the naked babes, know what I mean?’
The Doctor noticed that Roy didn’t seem averse to seeing the naked babes himself. His upper lip was sweaty. The Doctor was more interested in Dupre’s circle.”
---Eight, The City of the Dead

~ * ~

[eight’s at a summoning ritual type thing. there are ladies who’re naked, ostensibly in order to be closer to nature/magic. also worth noting: one of them has “skilfully melted a pair of very shallow black candles on to her large breasts”]
“In fact, the Doctor had decided it was about time for him to leave. Dupre’s ideas were unoriginal and his conjuring sloppy; it was impossible to take him seriously. As Thales had predicted, he was wasting his time. He supposed that any minute now some form of sex magic was going to begin and that no one then would notice when he slipped down the stairs.
Dupre had brought up a CD player. Now he put in a disc and sounds came from the speakers that resembled something like the moaning songs of whales mixed with the crank of turning gears. The Doctor rather liked it. Dupre began to walk around the circle anticlockwise, chanting in a sonorous voice. The women and Roy echoed the chant. This went on for what seemed to the Doctor like hours. Finally, the women began to run their hands over their bodies, and he sensed his escape was near. The candle-woman, he noticed, was still alight.
At the throne end of the room, one of the heavy draperies was thrust aside and a seventh woman stepped out. The Doctor recognised the girl from Death’s Door who had been wearing the chartreuse shoes. She was shoeless now, dressed only in some kind of metal corset with spikes protruding from the front of it. Without make-up, she looked very young. Dupre dropped his robe and stood naked and erect. She came and knelt before him, then, rather clumsily, lay down on her back. He started to lower himself on to the spikes, and at this point the Doctor had had enough.
'Stop this silliness,’ he snapped. 'Right now.’
He strode over, shoved Dupre away, and pulled the startled girl to her feet. 'Go and take off that ridiculous outfit.’
Dupre grabbed at him. 'You dare!’ The Doctor threw him aside and pushed the girl towards the door. 'Go and find your clothes. And for goodness’ sake, don’t trip on the way down.’
She backed away confusedly. 'All of you!’ the Doctor yelled at the other women. 'Playtime’s over. Goodbye. You too, Roy.’
Roy seemed to be trying to say 'But ’, but no sound was coming from his mouth. The women glanced uncertainly at one another. 'And put out those candles,’ the Doctor ordered the burning woman. 'Can’t you see this place is a fire hazard? Look at those curtains - they’d go up like straw.'”
---Eight, The City of the Dead
(k so u could argue this isn’t disinterest but. it’s v v heavily implied, and also hilarious, so)

~ * ~

“‘He’s a strange one, our Dr Smith.
‘Fancy him, do you?’ asked Maclean.
‘But of course!’
Guy Burgess smiled. He was attracted to the mysterious Dr Smith, that was true enough. But then, there was nothing surprising in that. As he often said himself, he couldn’t so much as get on a train without fancying the enginedriver.
But he was an excellent judge of people and he had detected no flicker of response in the Doctor.”
---Eight, Endgame

~ * ~

“Monica, her fellow-waitress, thin, dark and shrewish said, ‘You’re wasting your time with that one.’
‘Don’t know what you mean,’ said Penny haughtily. She cut a particularly large and succulent slice of ham and began to prepare a sandwich.
Monica gazed across the crowded café at the Doctor sitting quietly in his corner. ‘I don’t think he’s interested in women.’
Penny raised an eyebrow. ‘What are you insinuating?’
‘I don’t mean he’s one of them,’ said Monica hurriedly. ‘Though Lord knows he’s pretty enough. It’s just that he doesn’t seem interested in anyone. Just sits there and lets everything float by.’
‘He’s a gentleman at any rate,’ said Penny. ‘Not like some of these others. No danger of getting your bottom pinched when you bend over to put the coffee down!’
‘Worse luck!’ said Monica. ‘Like I said, he’s not interested.’”
---About Eight, Endgame

~ * ~

“‘I thought he was sleeping with Daria.’
The Doctor laughed. ‘He might be. But that proves nothing about him, since you would also like to.’ He glanced up. ‘I don’t recommend it, by the way.’
‘You’ve tried?’ I asked dryly.
‘We – I –’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not something that interests me.’
‘Sex?’
‘Yes. It’s a missing piece in my life.’”
---Eight, The Turing Test
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

~ * ~

[After River kisses Ramone passionately]
The Doctor: Ugh! Doesn’t it get dull after a while? As an activity, it’s not hugely varied, is it?
---Twelve, The Husbands of River Song

~ * ~

Craig Owens: Listen, Mike and I had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout. [winks] Okay?
The Doctor: [winks back] Why would I want that?
Craig Owens: Well, in case you want to bring someone round, a girlfriend or a… [looks at the Doctor up and down] boyfriend…
The Doctor: Oh, I will. I’ll shout… if that happens. Something like… I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!
---Eleven, The Lodger

~ * ~

“‘This was not some moony little teenage crush. This is a real live wanttothrowhimonthefloorandshaghimtillbitsbreakoff kind of problem. All right?’
They made it up the last twenty feet of cliff and staggered back to the tent they’d set up earlier. Sam sat down, groaning as her muscles complained, and started struggling out of her boots.
‘So why didn’t you?’ said Paul.
‘Why didn’t I what?’ said Sam, locked in battle with her shoelaces.
‘Break bits off him.’
‘I don’t know,’ said Sam. ‘It wouldn’t be right. It’d be like snogging your uncle. Anyway, he never shows any interest at all in that kind of stuff.’”
---Sam Jones about Eight, Seeing I

~ * ~

Jackie: I’m in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There’s a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie: Well, anything could happen.
The Doctor: …No. [They walk away]
---Nine, Rose

~ * ~

Lilith: Just the three. But the play tonight shall restore the rest. Then the human race will be purged as pestilence. And from this world we will lead the universe back into the old ways of blood and magic.
The Doctor: Hmm. Busy schedule. But first you’ve got to get past me.
Lilith: [seductively] Oh, that should be a pleasure, considering my enemy has such a handsome shape. [She runs her fingers along their face]
The Doctor: Now, that’s one form of magic that’s definitely not going to work on me.
---Ten, The Shakespeare Code

~ * ~

Amy: You absolutely, definitely may kiss the bride—
The Doctor: Amelia, from now on, I shall be leaving the… kissing duties to the brand new… Mr. Pond!
---Eleven, The Big Bang
(lmao kissing duties)

~ * ~

The Doctor: Right, so what are we gonna do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I’ve never done that, but I bet it’s easy. Girls, yeah? [gestures excitedly]
---Eleven, A Christmas Carol

~ * ~

[After Eight kisses Sam in the midst of post-epiphany excitement] “Sam leaned an elbow on the open window as they bounced down the garage ramp and into the night. So that’s what he keeps us around for, she thought, blowing out a long cloud of smoke. He can’t think in a straight line without us.
Did he even realise what he was doing to her?
Someone’s trying to send you a message, Doctor, and it’s me. Are you receiving?”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“He wondered if the Doctor had ever been tempted over all his years of travels with pretty girls. Probably not, he decided. That would be too obvious, somehow.”
---Fitz about Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

“‘Who are you?’ he asked again.
‘A traveller, like yourself. A seeker of knowledge.’ She touched his cheek with one finger, and he was unaccountably speechless. ‘A philosopher, if you like.’
‘And an old friend?’
‘Better than that.’ She stepped out of her dress.
The Doctor focused on her eyes, which didn’t shift or change. ‘My friends –’
‘Will still be there.’ She fell into his arms, and he found himself holding her to stop her from falling. She insinuated herself into his embrace, pressing herself against him. ‘Later.’”
---Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

[refers to events of previous quote, same people are talking]
“She gave him a radiant smile. Literally. ‘I meant you no harm, Evergreen Man. I was simply enjoying a little game.’
‘Mind games?’
She leaned forward. ‘Everything’s a game. Reality’s just one of the players.’
‘Some games aren’t to my taste,’ the Doctor told her.
She grinned. ‘Not always. You have played before, many times.’
‘You must be confusing me with someone else. Me, probably.’”
---Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

“‘Stop pretending to be something other than a fool, and admit you’re simply jealous.’
‘Jealous?’ He seemed to think about this. ‘And what if I am?’
‘Your position as my consort is a political one, not a spiritual one. It should not matter to the Amadan na Briona if I take a thousand mortal lovers.’
‘Should? Should not? What do I care about should and should not? I feel what I feel. You “should not” be paying such attention to the Evergreen Man. You know he will never return your affections.’
‘What makes you think you know anything of him? I enjoy such challenges most of all.’
‘I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.’”
---about Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

[Shakespeare puts his arm around Martha’s waist and pulls her towards him]
Martha: I’ve only just met you.
Shakespeare: The Doctor may never kiss you. Why not entertain a man who will?
---Ten, The Shakespeare Code

"NO ALLO"


[after the Doctor tried to strangle Rhian when she woke them up from a nightmare]
“The Doctor patted the end of the bed, indicating to Rhian to join him.
Rhian felt herself blushing. It had taken fair amount of courage for her to even enter the Doctor’s room, let alone join him on the bed. Of all the situations she had been exposed to over the last few days, this was the one that she was the least prepared for.
The Doctor smiled at her awkwardness. ‘It’s all right; I have nothing but honourable intentions. I thought you looked uncomfortable standing up. It’s not every day that someone tries to strangle you.’
Rhian mentally kicked herself for misreading the signals.”
---Eight, The Book of the Still

~ * ~

Clara: Why do you keep looking at me like that?
The Doctor: Sorry, no, it’s nothing. It’s just, you’re a nanny. Isn’t that a bit, well, Victorian?
Clara: Victorian?
The Doctor: You’re young. Shouldn’t you be doing, you know, young things, with young people?
Clara: You mean like you, for instance? Down, boy.
The Doctor: No. No. I didn’t. Shut up.
---Eleven, The Bells of Saint John

~ * ~

[Clara reaches up with the umbrella and pulls the ladder down. The Governess is reforming on the roof]
Clara: After you.
The Doctor: After you.
Clara: After you, I’m wearing a dress. Eyes front, soldier!
The Doctor: My eyes are always front!
---Eleven, The Snowmen

~ * ~

Rory: What’s the book?
The Doctor: Melody Malone. She’s a private detective in old town New York.
Amy: She’s got ice in her heart and a kiss on her lips, and a vulnerable side she keeps well hidden.
The Doctor: Oh, you’ve read it?
Amy: You read it. Aloud. And then went yowzah!
Rory: Only you could fancy someone in a book.
The Doctor: I’m just reading it. I just like the cover.
Amy: Ooo, can we see the cover?
The Doctor: No, no, I’m busy. It’s your hair! Is it your hair?
---Eleven, Angels Take Manhattan
(the last line could also fall under “deflection”)

~ * ~

Amy: You are a bloke and you don’t know it, [tries to put her arms around their neck] and here I am to help. [She tries to kiss them, they squirm]
The Doctor: That is not why you’re here.
---Eleven, Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2

~ * ~

[The Doctor is working under the console when Rose returns, appropriately dressed for 1860.]
The Doctor: Blimey!
Rose: Don’t laugh.
The Doctor: You look beautiful, considering.
Rose: Considering what?
The Doctor: That you’re human.
---Nine, The Unquiet Dead
(blames it on her being human, but still implies a lack of interest/strictly aesthetic appreciation)

~ * ~

The Doctor: You’ll see. In the shed.
Dickens: Upon my soul, Doctor, it’s one riddle after another with you. But after all these revelations, there’s one mystery you still haven’t explained. Answer me this. Who are you?
The Doctor: Just a friend passing through.
Dickens: But you have such knowledge of future times. I don’t wish to impose on you, but I must ask you. My books. Doctor, do they last?
The Doctor: Oh, yes!
Dickens: For how long?
The Doctor: Forever. Right. Shed. Come on, Rose.
Dickens: In the box? Both of you?
The Doctor: Down boy. See you.
---Nine, The Unquiet Dead

~ * ~

Rose: I meant to phone. I really did. I just I forgot.
Jackie: What, for a year? You forgot for a year? And I am left sitting here. I just don’t believe you. Why won’t you tell me where you’ve been?
The Doctor: Actually, it’s my fault. I sort of er, employed Rose as my companion.
Policeman: When you say companion, is this a sexual relationship?
Rose + The Doctor: No.
---Nine, Aliens of London

~ * ~

The Doctor: [asking about Rose’s whereabouts] And I wanna find a blonde in a Union Jack tee. And I mean a specific one, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving.
---Nine, The Empty Child

~ * ~

The Doctor: Just forgive me for this. It could save a thousand lives. It means nothing. Honestly, nothing. [The Doctor kisses Martha, then runs away.]
---Ten, Smith and Jones

~ * ~

The Doctor: Just one trip to say thanks. You get one trip, then back home. I’d rather be on my own.
Martha: You’re the one that kissed me.
The Doctor: That was a genetic transfer.
Martha: And if you will wear a tight suit.
The Doctor: Now, don’t!
Martha: And then travel all the way across the universe just to ask me on a date.
The Doctor: Stop it.
Martha: For the record? I’m not remotely interested. I only go for humans.
The Doctor: Good. Well, then.
---Ten, Smith and Jones

~ * ~

The Doctor: No. Actually, no. But the last time…With Martha, like I said, it got… complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: [alarmed] You just want to mate?!
The Doctor: I just want a mate!
Donna: You’re not mating with me, sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want a mate!
Donna: Well, just as well, cos I’m not having any of that nonsense! You’re just a long streak of nothing! You know… Alien nothing!
The Doctor: [relieved] There we are, then. Okay.
---Ten, Partners in Crime

~ * ~

The Doctor: It’s a shock, a shock, I need a shock!
Donna: All right then. big shock, coming up…
[Donna kisses them on the lips, and they exhale toxins]
The Doctor: [breathing normally] Ahh, detox. Oh, I must do that more often. [beat] I mean, the detox.
---Ten, The Unicorn And The Wasp

~ * ~

The Doctor: Be careful!
River: Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.
The Doctor: Shout if you get in trouble.
River: Don’t worry, I’m quite the screamer. [Climbs into the tunnel] Now there’s a spoiler for you!
Canton: So, what’s going on here?
The Doctor: Er… Nothing. She’s just a friend.
---Eleven, The Impossible Astronaut

~ * ~

The Doctor: Uh, Amy. This is… well… she’s my TARDIS. Except she’s a woman. She’s a woman, and she’s my TARDIS.
Amy: [incredulously] She's the TARDIS?
The Doctor: And she’s a woman. She’s a woman, and she’s the TARDIS.
Amy: Did you wish really hard?
The Doctor: Shut up! Not like that!
---Eleven, The Doctor’s Wife

~ * ~

Clara: [stuck in the window] My bustle is stuck!
The Doctor: Your bustle? [pulls her out of the window and they land on the snow, Clara on top of the Doctor] You’re going to have to take those clothes off. [Clara gasps] I didn’t mean-
Clara: I know.
The Doctor: I just-
Clara: I understand, I do.
The Doctor: Good.
---Eleven, The Snowmen

~ * ~

The Doctor: But you don’t run out on the people you care about. Wish I was more like that. You know, the thing about a time machine, you can run away all you like and still back in time for tea, so what do you say? Anywhere. All of time and space right outside those doors.
Clara: Does this work?
The Doctor: Hey?
Clara: [laughs] This is actually what you do? Do you just crook your fingers and people just jump in your snog box and fly away?
The Doctor: It is not a snog box!
---Eleven, The Bells of Saint John

~ * ~

The Tenth Doctor: What are you doing here? I’m busy.
The Eleventh Doctor: Oh, busy. I see. Is that what we’re calling it, eh? Eh? [bows to the two Elizabeth I’s] Hello, ladies.
The Tenth Doctor: Don’t start.
The Eleventh Doctor: Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business.
The Tenth Doctor: One of them is a Zygon.
---Ten, Eleven, The Day of the Doctor

~ * ~

Amy: Oh come on, you turn up in the middle of the night, get me out of my bed in my nightie which you then don’t let me change out of for ages, and take me for a spin in your time machine. No, no, you’re right, no mixed signals there. THAT is just a signal. Like a great big bat signal in the sky, get your coat off the Doctor is in.
The Doctor: [starts to laugh] No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It’s not like that. That’s not what I’m like.
---Eleven, Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2

~ * ~

Amy: Does that mean I’m not the first then? [turns to them] There have been others travelling with you!
The Doctor: Yeah, sure, loads of them. But just friends, you know, chums, pals, mates, buddies, not mates forget mates.
---Eleven, Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2

~ * ~

“‘That’s right, a natural blonde,’ said the Doctor.
‘Oh?’ said Sam, raising an eyebrow.
‘So she told me,’ said the Doctor hastily. ‘What are you getting at?’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘So is this your usual method of pulling?’ she said lightly. He stared at her, butter knife hovering, looking vaguely bewildered. ‘You know…impressing a girl. Taking her out for some posh nosh.’
‘Oh no no no,’ said the Doctor.
‘Oh.’ said Sam.
‘No, if I really wanted to impress someone, I’d take them to the Perspective Centre run by the Halergani, outside the galactic plane. They’ve got a glassed in floor with a stellar magnification grid in it, so you can see the whole galaxy spread out underneath you.’
He was grinning like a little kid. ‘And it all looks close enough to touch. It’s just amazing. But I’m afraid that’s all beyond my reach now.’ He sank slightly in his chair, his eyes looking into the distance at something she couldn’t imagine, and let out a resigned breath. She saw the years growing back on to his face.
‘So, dinner.’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“The Doctor met her gaze with equanimity ‘There are many “Lords of Time” as you put it. I’m really nothing special.’
‘There are many who claim Lordship over Time,’ Titania corrected, ‘but only one who behaves like a true Lord. Someday you’ll make someone a fine husband.’
The Doctor looked a little embarrassed. ‘Well, I –’
‘I imagine that finding a soulmate can’t be easy for the Lord of Time. These mortals age and die so quickly… You begin to get to know them, then suddenly they’re a faded memory brought on by summer sunset.’ She caressed his shoulder. ‘It need not always be so.’
‘Indeed?’ said the Doctor, neutrally.
‘Would it be so bad? We of the Sidhe have always had the best of relations with humans.’
The Doctor gently shifted to the side. ‘I’m not human. Flattered, but not human.’
‘Part of you is. That’s enough.’
The Doctor gave a tight smile. ‘“That’s debatable” would be more accurate.’”
---Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

Joan: A Journal of Impossible Things. Just look at these creatures. Such imagination.
The Doctor: It’s become quite a hobby.
Joan: It’s wonderful. And quite an eye for the pretty girls. [Looking at a drawing of Rose Tyler]
The Doctor: Oh no, no, she’s just an invention. This character, Rose, I call her, Rose.
---Ten, Human Nature
(lmao even human and supposedly straight ten’s “no allo”ing that’s hilarious)

~ * ~

Joan: Oh, it’s all becoming clear now. The Doctor is the man you’d like to be, doing impossible things with cricket balls.
The Doctor: Well, I discovered a talent, that’s certainly true.
Joan: But the Doctor has an eye for the ladies.
The Doctor: The devil.
Joan: A girl at every fireplace.
The Doctor: Ah, now, there I have to protest, Joan. That is hardly me.
Joan: Says the man dancing with me tonight.
The Doctor: That scarecrow’s all skewed.
---Ten, Human Nature
(and again w/the “no alloing” supposedly straight ten) (also falls under deflection)

~ * ~

“Compassion realised the Doctor had apparently forsaken talking in favour of scrutinising her shoulders. She frowned at him. ‘What are you staring at?’
‘Is that right?’ the Doctor whispered. ‘For your skin to be so pale, I mean? Porcelain. Perfect.’
Compassion took a step away instinctively and covered herself with her arms. ‘What’s wrong with you? Stop it.’
He looked away, then looked horrified, as if suddenly aghast at his behaviour. ‘Forgive me, I have such a dreadful attention span, don’t I? It was just your skin. In this light, it’s almost flawless, isn’t it? Smooth as eggshell.’”
---Eight, Parallel 59

~ * ~

[The Doctor, w/out their TARDIS, feeling helpless and bored bc they can’t do anything]
“‘What do you want to talk about?’
‘I feel impotent. I need your help to do something about that.’
Mab laughed even harder, and put a hand over her mouth to avoid disturbing her guards. ‘That’s a new one! But, y’know, whatever I can do… ’
‘What? Oh, no, don’t be… not that you… anyhow… ’ He stood again, a nervous smile pursing his lips, and reached out a hand to her. ‘Come on, this’ll be easier outside.’”
---Eight, The Shadows of Avalon

~ * ~

“‘Girl,’ he muttered. ‘Not seen her before… Knocked me on the head.’
‘A girl?’ The Doctor noticed a glint beneath the smocks, crouched and pulled out a silver ladle. ‘She hit you with this?’
The man nodded painfully.
‘Petite, blonde, becoming if you care for that sort of thing?’”
---Eight, To The Slaughter

 

FAILING TO NOTICE SEXUAL OVERTONES


“I looked at him then, full in the face. I think I would have kissed him if I’d dared: instead I ‘looked the kiss’, that is, wore the expression of one who might be about to kiss. I have done it with men before: most have thought it rather odd.
I don’t think the Doctor noticed.”
---Alan Turing about Eight, The Turing Test

~ * ~

Clara: What are you doing in here? [in the bedroom of her apartment]
The Doctor: You said you had a date. I thought I’d better hide in the bedroom in case you brought him home.
---Twelve, Listen

~ * ~

The Doctor [to Amy and Rory, still dressed for honeymoon activities]: Ah, yes, you two. About time. Why are you dressed like that?
Rory: Er, kind of lost our luggage. Kind of crash landed?
The Doctor: Yeah, but why are you dressed like that at all?
---Eleven, A Christmas Carol

~ * ~

Amy: So, do you comfort a lot of people on the night before their wedding?
The Doctor: Why would you need comforting?
Amy: I nearly died. I was alone in the dark, and I nearly died. And it made me think.
The Doctor: Well, yes, natural. I think sometimes. Well, lots of times.
Amy: About what I want. About who I want. You know what I mean?
The Doctor: Yeah…No.
Amy: About who I want.
The Doctor: Oh right, yeah…No, still not getting it.
Amy: Doctor. In a word. In one very simple word even you can understand.
[Amy tries to kiss them]
The Doctor: No! You’re getting married in the morning!
---Eleven, Flesh and Stone

~ * ~

The Doctor: Well? Anything you want to say? Any passing remarks? I’ve heard them all.
Amy: I’m in my nightie.
The Doctor: Oh, don’t worry. Plenty of clothes in the wardrobe. And possibly a swimming pool.
---Eleven, The Eleventh Hour
(maybe, idk) (amy seems to think their letting her stay in her nightie for ages is signal, so)

~ * ~

“Instead, the Doctor caught her mid-lie and pulled her towards him. She felt his breath on her lips, not sure what proximity like this meant any more. As far as he was concerned, he was ensuring her full attention, having to get her to understand.”
---Sam Jones about Eight, The Janus Conjunction

~ * ~

“‘You were out cold. I didn’t think you were breathing… I tried to perform mouthtomouth on you.’
He looked puzzled. ‘Nothing wrong with that.’
‘There is when you try to get the tongue in.’
‘I’m afraid I don’t understand,’ he said.”
---Eight, Seeing I

~ * ~

“‘This bed wouldn’t have any conditions attached to it, would it?’
‘Conditions?’ The Doctor looked puzzled, and then realised what she meant. ‘Ah. No, no conditions. I rarely sleep.’
Donna grinned. ‘It’s not whether you wanted to sleep in it that concerned me,’ she admitted.
The Doctor cocked his head to one side in the manner of a puzzled dog, then spun neatly on one heel away from her.”
---Eight, The Legacy Of The Daleks

~ * ~

“'Doctor, what is that in your trousers?’
'Hmm?’ said the Doctor, puzzled, looking down. 'Oh, that!’ He reached into the waistline of his grey trousers, and pulled out a plastic bag filled with odd-shaped bulges.
Anstaar shook her head in disbelief.'But…’
'Oh, yes, this! I couldn’t just give it back to them, could I? Far too interesting to throw away the second we’ve laid our hands on it.’ He beamed at her, and rummaged in his plastic bag with glee.
'But what did you give those monsters?’ asked Nashaad, a silly smile on his face.
'A rock! Plenty of them lying around behind that probe -’
’- while we were clambering up the side of the valley.’ Anstaar interrupted. 'Right. But putting it down your trousers, well…’
'What?’ asked the Doctor, blankly.
She stuck out her tongues at him. 'You’re lucky those Kusks didn’t get the wrong impression!’
The Doctor still seemed puzzled. 'What, that there was a rock in my trousers?'”
---Eight, Longest Day

~ * ~

“Kramer sat down. ‘Typical, isn’t it? You put in all the effort to keep them safe, and then they go off and put themselves right back in danger.’
The Doctor began to smile. ‘If anything it’s got worse these past few years. I just thought it would be a good idea to talk to someone who didn’t have inexplicable urges to run off with me.’
Kramer snorted. 'They’re hardly inexplicable,’ she said, and went back to stacking the dishes. When she registered the confused expression on his face, she put them all down. ‘Look. You want my honest opinion?’
'Whatever gave you that idea?’ muttered the Doctor.
'You should get used to it,’ she said. ‘As far at anyone can tell, you’re a young single male with a mysterious past and a life of adventure. Of course they’re gonna flock to you. They don’t see the thousand years, or what a job saving the Earth all the time is.’ She shrugged. ‘And besides, chicks dig the time machine.’
'It was never like this before,’ he said.
'You never exactly gave ‘em the same kind of invitation before,’ she said. 'Your last regeneration, you didn’t act so… uh, approachable.’
'I was so much older then,’ he said. 'I think there were things I made a point of forgetting when I stopped being so old.’
'No, it’s more than that.’ Kramer cast around for the words. 'Lemme put it this way. You weren’t so much of a hands-on kind of guy.’
'Oh.’
'That makes a difference – you gotta be able to see that. The way you look, the way you act, the way you’re so touchy-feely all of a sudden… It gives you a kind of power over people.’
He looked blank. ‘What do you mean?’
Kramer shook her head. I don’t believe it, she thought. ‘Look at Carolyn. You really didn’t see what you just hugging her was doing to her?’
He looked surprised. ‘I thought she was enjoying it.’
'Ohh boy,’ said Kramer, shaking her head again. 'You’re a danger to yourself and others, you know that?’
'No, I really don’t understand. Where does power enter into it?’
'Look at her. She’s having a rough time with her boyfriend. Along comes another unattached male who can take her away from it all – and who’s acting all cuddly and approachable.’
'And who has cute eyebrows,’ he said, incomprehensibly.
'And then she’s willing to put herself in harm’s way for him.’ Kramer smiled out of the corner of her mouth. 'You really think she’d be doing that so easily if you looked like me?’
'Oh dear,’ said the Doctor. Kramer couldn’t help smiling outright.”
---Eight, Vampire Science

~ * ~

Martha: So, who’s going where? I mean, there’s only one bed.
The Doctor: We’ll manage. Come on.
---Ten, The Shakespeare Code

~ * ~

The Doctor: Looks like witchcraft, but it isn’t. Can’t be. [Looks at Martha, who hasn’t gotten in bed yet] Are you going to stand there all night?
Martha: Budge up a bit, then. Sorry, there’s not much room…Us two here, same bed. Tongues will wag.
The Doctor: There’s such a thing as psychic energy, but a human couldn’t channel it like that. Not without a generator the size of Taunton and I think we’d have spotted that. No, there’s something I’m missing, Martha. Something really close, staring me right in the face and I can’t see it.
---Ten, The Shakespeare Code
(could also fall under deflection)

~ * ~

Vastra: Which leads me to ask, when did it [River’s conception] happen?
The Doctor: [disgusted] When??
Vastra: [scoffs] I am trying to be delicate. I know how you can blush. [Dorium chuckles.] When did this baby … begin?
The Doctor: Oh, you mean…?
Vastra: Quite.
The Doctor: [embarrassed, straightens their bow tie] Well how would I know? That’s all human-y, private stuff. It just sort of goes on. They don’t put up a balloon or anything!
---Eleven, A Good Man Goes To War

~ * ~

The Doctor: Rory, did you drop a thermo-coupling?
Rory: Sh–Sorry!
The Doctor: Oh, how did you do that?! I told you, 'Don’t drop them!’ I specifically mentioned not dropping!
Amy: I-It was my fault.
The Doctor: Of course it wasn’t your fault.
Rory: It kinda-kind of was her fault.
The Doctor: How can it be her fault?!
Amy: Because it was my skirt, and my husband, and your glass floor.
The Doctor: [pauses to process this] Oh, Rory!
---Eleven, Comic Relief Red Nose Day 2011, Part 1

~ * ~

“‘For my people, regeneration is a moment of profound… power.’ His voice was soft, even awed. ‘It’s a jolt to every fibre of your body. Your whole being turns inside out. For one moment, that sudden release of energy twists your universe into an entirely different shape.’
‘Oh yeah,’ said Sam. ‘I’ve been there a few times.’ She brushed his shirt back from his shoulders.
He didn’t quite seem to be paying attention.”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

[After Sam Jones gives Eight a back massage]
Sam laughed throatily. ‘At last, Time Lord, I have you at my mercy.’
‘Ah,’ said the Doctor. ‘Somehow I knew we’d be getting to that.’
He rolled over underneath her and lay there for a moment, head thrown back against the pillow, looking utterly ravished.
Then he hugged her, hands wrapping across her back. ‘Thank you, Sam, that was utterly delightful.’
She waited.
He just beamed up at her.
‘Oh, for Christ’s sake,’ she said, and snogged him.
She let the weight of her body press against the Doctor’s. His hands were still on her back. With her eyes closed she could smell the clean sheets, the sandalwood scent of his hair. His skin felt cool through her T-shirt.
At last she raised her head, gazed down at him.
‘Ah,’ he said.
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

Chang: It’s so cool. Look at this. We call it dark water. [He puts his arm into a sample jar of it. His wrist watch and jacket sleeve vanish] Only organic matter can be seen through it. [He removes his arm and dries it off] I keep saying they should use this stuff in swimming pools.
The Doctor: Why?
Chang: Think about it.
The Doctor: I am thinking about it. Why?
---Twelve, Dark Water

 

DISCOMFORT/AWKWARDNESS WRT SEXUAL OVERTONES


“Teddy stared at him. He had dark, bright eyes, like a night bird. 'Do you like my wife?’
'I don’t really know her’
'You could pose naked with her.’
'Erm,’ said the Doctor, 'why would I want to do that?’
Teddy suddenly touched his face. The Doctor didn’t move. He let the artist trace his features, like a blind man. 'I want you to model for me. You’re perfect.’
'For what?’
'You’re the angel of death.’
'I beg your pardon?’
'My next series.’ Teddy took the Doctor’s hand imploringly, like a little boy. 'I’ve been looking for the perfect face. Your eyes are like stones. I’d use opals for your eyes.’
'Really I don’t think -’
'You don’t have to pose nude. I just said that to persuade you. Most men would love to be naked with Swan.’
'Yes, I’m sure, but -'”
---Eight, The City of the Dead
(idk maybe this fits better under disinterest?)

~ * ~

“She felt she was in a dream, and that he might sweep her suddenly off her feet and carry her listless body to her bed.
He said nothing for a moment while she breathed hot port into the small gap between them. There were butterflies in her stomach. She’d heard the phrase, but never really felt it, until now. They were battering their fragile wings in the sunshine, cool currents whispering about them as they danced in the air inside her. So many feelings, so much emotion, so much –
‘Well,’ the Doctor whispered softly in her ear.
He seemed hesitant. Uncertain. She wanted to grab hold and kiss him.
‘Goodnight, then,’ he said.
And the butterflies died.”
---Eight, Casualties of War


~ * ~

“‘So it’s like Fitz said.’ She knelt beside him on the bed, and began gently massaging the tight muscles in his lower back. ‘They’re interested in me because my biodata’s all messed up.’
‘It’s rather worrying,’ he said. ‘Given access to your biodata, they could resequence your history, rearrange your consciousness – do to your lifeline all the things human beings do to fruit flies. Er… ’ Half a puzzled frown peeked out from the pillow as she trailed her fingers down his spine. ‘What are you doing that for?’
‘It helps your circulation. Promotes healing.’
‘Oh, I see. Well, as I was saying… ’ His muscles were loosening under her hands as his body gave in to the back rub. ‘What was I saying?’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘Who are you?’ he asked.
She smiled, stroking his hair. ‘An old friend, who would not see you suffer in silence.’ She cocked her head, and slid an arm around his waist.
‘I’m sure I would have remembered you… ’
‘Are you? It appears otherwise.’ Suddenly her lips were on his, her tongue gently courting his.
He stepped back hurriedly, looking somewhat puzzled.”
---Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

“‘Fitz isn’t dead, Sam.’
‘Then I want to say goodbye.’
He shook his head. ‘I’ll bring him back one day. I promise. But he’s been through a lot since the last time you saw him. He needs time. Time to recover. I don’t think he’ll be able to cope with goodbyes for quite a while.’
Sam looked like she wanted to scream at him. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘All right, I’ll take your word for it. Just don’t forget, OK? He’s important to me. I mean, we did have sex and everything.’
The Doctor didn’t seem to know how to react to that.”
---Eight, Interference Book Two

 

DEFLECTION WRT SEX/KISSING


Grisenko: Will this help? [Proffers the sonic screwdriver]
The Doctor: Ah! You saved it.
Grisenko: No, no, it was on the floor with this. [The Barbie doll. The Doctor kisses it]
The Doctor: Ah, Professor, I could kiss you.
Grisenko: If you insist.
The Doctor: Later.
---Eleven, Cold War

~ * ~

Riddell: Where’ve you been, man? Seven months. You said you were popping out for some liquorice. I had two very disappointed dancers on my hands.
---About Eleven, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

~ * ~

The Doctor: Bye, then. Lovely meeting you. Sorry about the mess.
[They are restrained by an elegant woman in a sheer gown and tall blue headdress, who pushes them up against the Tardis door and strokes their hair]
Nefertiti: You think I’ll just let you leave without me, after what we’ve just been through?
The Doctor: You’ve got the Egyptian people to rule, Queen Nefertiti. They’ll need reassuring after that weapon-bearing giant alien locust attack we just stopped rather brilliantly.
---Eleven, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

~ * ~

Rosanna: Oh, deserters must be executed. Any general will tell you that. I need an answer, Doctor. A partnership. Any which way you choose.
The Doctor: I don’t think that’s such a good idea, do you? I’m a Time Lord. You’re a big fish. Think of the children.
---Eleven, Vampires of Venice

~ * ~

The Doctor: You just assume that I don’t dance.
Rose: What? Are you telling me you do dance?
The Doctor: Nine hundred years old, me. I’ve been around a bit. I think you can assume at some point I’ve danced.
Rose: You?
The Doctor: Problem?
Rose: Doesn’t the universe implode or something if you dance?
The Doctor: Well I’ve got the moves but I wouldn’t want to boast.
Rose: You’ve got the moves? Show me your moves.
The Doctor: Rose, I’m trying to resonate concrete.
---Nine, The Doctor Dances

~ * ~

“‘I could cure the addiction,’ he said. ‘That’s if – Forgive me, I – It’s entirely up to you, of course.’
‘You could what?’
‘Cure the addiction,’ said the Doctor. ‘I brought a medical kit from the TARDIS.’
‘Would it hurt?’ I can’t believe I’m saying this! ‘I mean, what would you –’
‘Derm,’ said the Doctor, leaning towards her. There wasn’t a whole lot of room in the car. ‘A sort of sticky patch. One dose.’ She could feel his breath on her neck when he spoke, looking deep into her eyes.
‘But then I wouldn’t have anything to do after sex,’ she murmured.
The Doctor turned away sharply, staring out through the windscreen. Words started tumbling out every which way.”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘Let’s get that shirt off,’ said Sam. ‘We’d better check on that wound.’
‘It’s only a small cut,’ the Doctor protested. ‘It should be mostly healed by now.’
The Doctor gave up the fight and sat on the edge of the hotel bed, fumbling with his clothes. ‘Let me get that,’ she said. Gently. She started undoing buttons.
‘Sam,’ he murmured into the top of her head, ‘there’s something I ought to tell you.’
She paused halfway down. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s about what the little boy said. In the alley. It’s about where you might have come from.’
She went back to the shirt. ‘I know all about that,’ she said.
‘You do?’
‘The mummy and the daddy love one another very much –’
‘When I first met you, years ago… I’d only just regenerated.’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

[After Sam snogs them] “‘I think perhaps you’d better think about this a little more,’ he said. His eyes were suddenly very serious, even as she stroked the side of his face with her fingertips. ‘Think about it, Sam. You barely know me.’
‘You don’t have to play the gentleman with me,’ she murmured. ‘Not with me.’
‘I’m old enough to be your great-great-great… to be your ancestor. I have done some very terrible things. A lot of people have died because of me. I have killed people, Sam. Think about that.’
He hadn’t said anything like that on the plane. ‘I don’t care,’ she said uncertainly.
‘Don’t you?’ said the Doctor. ‘Do you really not care who I am? You should be afraid.’ He took hold of her hand. ‘You should be afraid of what might happen to you because you’re with me.’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

[Rose and Mickey hug. The Doctor is up a ladder mending something.]
Jack: Aw, sweet, look at those two. How come I never get any of that?
The Doctor: Buy me a drink first.
Jack: You’re such hard work.
The Doctor: But worth it.
---Nine, Boom Town

~ * ~

[The Doctor stands then sits again as Clare gives him a piece of paper]
The Doctor: Thanks, then. Oh, what’s that?
Clare: My telephone number.
The Doctor: What for?
Clare: Health and Safety. You be health, I’ll be safety.
The Doctor: Ah. Ah. But that contravenes er, paragraph five, subsection C. Sorry.
---Ten, Partners in Crime

 

MISCELLANEOUS ACEISH THINGS


[eight went to a roman orgy for unexplained reasons]
Fitz brightened. ‘Yeah, perhaps we could go to the org– the villa, after all?’
‘Fitz… ’ Trix warned gently.
‘Don’t worry. We’d only observe, not interfere,’ he assured her.
The Doctor ushered them away. ‘No, they’ll all be fine… Besides, there’s a young lady called Fulvia waiting for me back there, and I’ve already given her quite enough of my attention for one night.’
---Eight, The Gallifrey Chronicles
(so maybe this is bad evidence but? we don’t know what they did there, only that they really don’t want to go back)

~ * ~

“Did he look different now? He didn’t think so. The same face – a man, just under forty, that human beings apparently found handsome.”
---Eight, Camera Obscura

~ * ~

[this dude Jueves has just handed Anji a chocolate bar; dr who is the other person in the room]
‘I thought that might make you feel better.’
‘Oh yes. Well, you know they say chocolate is better than –’ Anji broke off, looking at the two men in her room. Neither of whom would get it. ‘Never mind.’
---Eight, History 101

~ * ~

“‘I suppose what you said… It’s what I aspire to. But this job, running the Retreat. . . I see Joe so little, and when I do, I’m knackered. I’m such poor company. I’m sure I talk more than I listen – Joe could have changed jobs for all I know!’
‘And you haven’t been intimate in weeks,’ said Smith, without a trace of embarrassment – or, perhaps, comprehension. It was a statement, not a question.”
---Eight, The Sleep of Reason

~ * ~

“‘Do you come here often?’
Laska turned – it seemed she couldn’t get away from Smith today. He was standing at the back of the room, arms folded behind his hack, apparently ignorant of the neutered chat-up line he had just uttered.”
---Eight, The Sleep of Reason

~ * ~

‘Behold,’ whispered the Doctor. ‘The Unseelie Court!’
He fell full length on to the grass, and squirmed on his elbows to the edge of the cliff. From there, he cautiously poked his head over, and gazed down into the abyss. He could see nothing but swirling green fog, but he could smell… brimstone. Sulphur! The Court tree was standing in, drawing its nourishment from, an active volcano!
He moved gently back from the edge, and returned to squat beside Caldera. ‘What do you think?’ he asked. ‘Aren’t you moved to tears? Stimulated? Turned on? In a creative sense, I mean.’
---Eight, The Shadows of Avalon
(sorta anyhow)

~ * ~

“‘We’re not dead!’ Rhian released the Doctor and took a step back as Anji, dressed in a revealing green sari, flung herself at the Doctor. Anji began covering his face in kisses and shouting joyously in a language that Rhian’s Universal translator, now working, insisted was gibberish and estimated having to do several more google-flops of calculations before it would be ready to make some sense out of it.
Then Darlow was punching the Doctor in the kidneys, snatching the gun from Anji’s hands and generally waving it in their direction.
The Doctor, caught completely unaware by the punch, but nevertheless seeming to show some relief that the kissing had stopped, fell to his knees next to a body on the floor.”
---Eight, The Book of the Still

~ * ~

“In the middle of the night he woke up, blinking, in bright moonlight. Mrs Flood was perched on the window ledge, her feet resting lightly on his thigh.
'I need to go,’ he said.
'Why?’ Incongruously, she retained her Southern accent. He supposed it was the only way she knew to pronounce human language. Probably she would speak Japanese with the same twang.
'Because this isn’t enough.’
'You don’t know if it’s enough,’ she pointed out. 'You haven’t seen it all yet.’
'Nor will I.’
'Why not?’
'Because ’ he said inadequately. How could you explain to an immortal the pressure of passing time, the sense that it was to be lived in, not drifted through. She rubbed her foot against his leg. 'Stop that.’
'Why?’
'It's—Just stop it, please.’ With an exasperated sigh, she stopped moving her foot. She did not, however, withdraw it.
'You know,’ she said. 'I never lived in a body before, and I don’t say much for it. But there’s a couple things about it I don’t mind at all.’
'Have you taken physical form just to communicate with me?’
'I guess you could put it like that.’ She slid down on top of him. The Doctor felt as if a light shock had shimmered over his skin. 'You don’t make much use of your body, do you? You just sorta let it carry you around.’
'I still don’t understand,’ he said, maintaining a conversational tone, 'how I released you.’
'You tried to help. You thought about me instead of you. Three times.’ She brought her face near to his. 'I owe you.’
'You don’t -’ he began, but she put a finger across his lips.
‘There’s other things to feel besides pain.'”
---Eight, The City of the Dead
(to be fair, this is followed by her kissing dr who and dr who being, in their own words “enraptured” and losing “all sense of time” and all sense of themself, and dr who “embracing her as if he had nearly drowned and she was the shore to which merciful waves had swept him” so. there’s that. BUT also. dr who’s not so enraptured they fall for her tricks after so?? still p aroace i figure, even if maybe intended not to be? so ’s going here for now)

~ * ~

“Swannanoa, the Doctor was sure, was a woman a human judge would find very beautiful.”
---Eight, The City of the Dead

~ * ~

“Anji was silent. She watched the Doctor smile up at the waitress as she handed him his coffee. The waitress beamed back. Probably he’d made her day, Anji thought ironically. If she only knew.”
---Eight, The City of the Dead
(ehhh sorta?? sorta. it’s implied)

~ * ~

[Miranda’s said she wants to be alone to listen to a CD bc she’s got a boy in her bedroom; they’ve been making out; Debbie’s figured it out]
“Debbie stayed where she was. ‘A CD?’ she said, a little archly.
Miranda blushed. ‘I’ve not even got a player.’
‘Bob?’ Debbie asked.
Miranda went a deeper shade of red. ‘No. Someone else.’
Debbie chuckled. ‘I was young once,’ she said. ‘Unlike your father.’
‘I don’t think Dad would understand,’ Miranda told her.
‘No…no, I doubt that he would.’”
---Eight, Father Time

~ * ~

“‘Tell me,’ he said, in a quite different tone, ‘what do you think it takes to be human?’
Fool that I was, I mistook his meaning. I thought he was talking about maturity, and made an appropriate speech about what it is to be a man, the passion and the uncertainty, the terror, the boredom –
‘The sweaty nights,’ he interrupted. ‘Yes, yes, yes, I know. I mean human – as opposed to –’ he waved at the river, and after a second’s confusion I realized he meant the disposed ‘bodies’ of the strangers – ‘not human.’”
---Eight, The Turing Test
(lmao “sweaty nights” it’s ok doc u can say “sex”)

~ * ~

Courtney: And I got these from the chemist.
The Doctor: Vortex manipulators?
(Magnetic bracelets on her wrists.)
Courtney: Travel sickness.
The Doctor: Good. Because I don’t like people being sick in my Tardis. No being sick. And no hanky-panky.
---Twelve, Kill The Moon

~ * ~

Tenth Doctor: Elizabeth, whichever one of you is the real one, turn and run in the opposite direction to the other one.
Elizabeths: Of course, my love.
Elizabeth 1: Stay alive, my love. I am not done with you yet. [She kisses them and leaves]
Tenth Doctor [uncomfortable]: Thanks. Lovely.
Elizabeth 2: I understand. Live for me, my darling. We shall be together again. [Another kiss and run]
Tenth Doctor [uncomfortable]: Well, won’t that be nice?
---Ten, The Day of the Doctor

~ * ~

The Doctor: Oi, I told you to stay in there.
Clara: Oh, I didn’t listen.
The Doctor: You do that a lot.
Clara: It’s why you like me.
The Doctor: Who said I like you?
[Clara kisses the Doctor]
Clara: I think you just did.
The Doctor: You kissed me.
Clara: You blushed.
---Eleven, The Snowmen
(oh c’mon clara, ’s just embarrassment, like when someone teases about liking someone u didn’t actually like, y’know? calm urself my dude)

~ * ~

[Amy and Rory kiss]
The Doctor: Oh, do you know, it is so humiliating when you do that.
---Eleven, Angels Take Manhattan

~ * ~

Kate: You, er, you really are as remarkable as Dad said. [She kisses the Doctor on the cheek] Thank you.
The Doctor: My! A kiss from a Lethbridge-Stewart. That is new. Oh dear, I’m late for dinner.
---Eleven, The Power of Three

~ * ~

The Doctor: 26th of June, 1890. The recently opened Savoy Hotel. Dinner, bed and breakfast for two. Bonjour, bonjour. Merci, Auguste. You’ll be back before the party’s over. They won’t even notice you went. No complications, I promise.
[Rory kisses the Doctor on the cheek]
The Doctor [visibly startled: shoulders lift, raises arms awkwardly, hands clenched into fists; relaxes when Rory lets go: slumps shoulders, raises eyebrows+blinks, ducks slightly, grins]: Ooh!
---Eleven, The Power of Three

~ * ~

[note: the women of the House are sex workers]
“What were the Doctor’s intentions in the House, then? All accounts agree that the work of the women disturbed him a little, possibly a result of his reported travels through more restrained lands, but he always made an effort to judge people by their own standards and never interfered in the primary business of the House.”
---Eight, The Adventuress of Henrietta Street

~ * ~

Rory: Right, I’m due at work.
The Doctor: What? You’ve got a job?
Rory: Of course I’ve got a job. What do you think we do when we’re not with you?
The Doctor: I imagined mostly kissing.
---Eleven, The Power of Three
(??)

~ * ~

[The Doctor bursts into Amy and Rory’s bedroom, interrupting things]
The Doctor: Argh! Stop everything.
Rory: What’s going on?
Amy: Doctor! Bedroom!
Rory: We have a rule about the bedroom.
---Eleven, Pond Life, May

~ * ~

The Doctor [leaving the Ponds a voicemail updating them on their adventures]: Met Mata Hari in a Paris hotel room.
[Mata Hari undresses for them; they stare, clearly surprised] [there’s also a visual boner joke but we can just. ignore that]
The Doctor: What an interesting woman.
---Eleven, Pond Life, April
(idk i just think “interesting” is an…interesting adjective to use in that situation. like, not delightful, lovely, beautiful, hot—“interesting”)

~ * ~

The Doctor: The House deleted all the bedrooms. I should probably make you two a new bedroom. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Amy: Okay. Er, Doctor, this time could we lose the bunk beds?
The Doctor: No. Bunk beds are cool. A bed with a ladder. You can’t beat that.
---Eleven, The Doctor’s Wife

~ * ~

The Doctor: You could come with us.
River: I escape often enough, thank you. And I have a promise to live up to. You’ll understand soon enough.
The Doctor: Okay. Up to you. See you next time. Call me.
River: What, that’s it? What’s the matter with you?
The Doctor: Have I forgotten something?
River: Oh, shut up.
[River kisses the Doctor; startled, the Doctor flails, unsure what to do w/their arms]
The Doctor: Right. Okay. Interesting.
---Eleven, Day of the Moon

~ * ~

[The Doctor appears from behind a tree as Abigail and Kazran are kissing. They have lipstick on their face]
The Doctor: Guys, we’ve really got to go quite quickly. I just accidentally got engaged to Marilyn Monroe…How do you keep going like that? Do you breathe out your ears? Hello? Sorry. Hello? Guys, she’s phoned a chapel. There’s a car outside. This is happening now.
---Eleven, A Christmas Carol

~ * ~

Abigail: Best Christmas Eve ever.
The Doctor: Ah. Till the next one.
Abigail: I look forward to it. Now I’d like to say good night to Kazran.
The Doctor: Of course, yes. Well, on you go. Oh. Oh. Yes. Right. Sorry. I’ll, er, I’ll go, then. Good night. [to Kazran] Good luck. Night. Good night. [They back into another cryochamber] Sorry.
[Kazran goes after him]
Kazran: Doctor. I, er, I think she’s going to kiss me.
The Doctor: Yeah, I think you’re right.
Kazran: I’ve never kissed anyone before. What do I do?
The Doctor: Well, try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky.
Kazran: Why?
The Doctor: Because you’re going to be like that anyway. Might as well make it part of the plan, then it’ll feel on purpose. Off you go, then.
Kazran: What, now? I kiss her now?
The Doctor: Kazran, trust me. It’s this or go to your room and design a new kind of screwdriver. Don’t make my mistakes. Now, go.
---Eleven, A Christmas Carol

~ * ~

Rory: Amy!
Amy: Rory.
[Joyful reunion]
Rory: I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. It just happened.
Amy: Oh, Shut up.
[Amy kisses Rory]
The Doctor: Yeah, shut up, because we’ve got to go. Come on.
Rory: I waited. Two thousand years I waited for you.
Amy: No, still shut up.
[kissing again]
The Doctor: And break. And breathe. Well, somebody didn’t get out much for two thousand years.
---Eleven, The Big Bang

~ * ~

[The Doctor bursts out of the fake cake and silence falls]
The Doctor: Rory! That’s a relief. I thought I’d burst out of the wrong cake, again. That reminds me, there’s a girl standing outside in a bikini. Could someone let her in and give her a jumper? Lucy? Lovely girl. Diabetic. Now then, Rory. We need to talk about your fiancée. She tried to kiss me. Tell you what, though. You’re a lucky man. She’s a great kisser.
[Someone drops his beer glass and it smashes on the floor]
The Doctor: Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine.
---Eleven, Vampires of Venice

~ * ~

Captain Latimer: [Clara and the Doctor descend the stairs] Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?
The Doctor: It’s okay! I am your governess’ gentleman friend! We’ve just been upstairs… kissing!
---Eleven, The Snowmen

~ * ~

“Much as he admired the Doctor – and it was a jolt to his self-image to realise how much he was coming to depend on him – Fitz could have done without his being such a blatant bird-puller. And the horror and the shame of that was even greater when he confronted the evident fact that the Doctor didn’t even seem to notice.”
---Eight, The Taking of Planet 5

~ * ~

Astrid: Hold on! There’s an old tradition on Planet Sto.
The Doctor: I have really got to go.
Astrid: Just wait a minute.
[Astrid takes the first aid box from Copper, stands on it, grabs the Doctor’s lapels and pulls them in for a kiss]
The Doctor: Yeah, that’s a, ahem, very old tradition, yeah.
---Ten, Voyage of the Damned

~ * ~

The Doctor: Look at that, your body’s got a mind of its own.
River: More like an onboard computer for the cybernetic component.
The Doctor: Plus in-built flash drive and vernacular friendly interface.
River: Cyber co-pilot.
The Doctor: Mobile life support.
River: Sexy.
The Doctor: It’s not sexy.
River: It’s a little bit sexy.
The Doctor: Why is everything sexy now?
---Twelve, The Husbands of River Song

~ * ~

The Doctor: Hello. Laptop. Give me.
Jeff: No, no, no, no, wait.
The Doctor: It’s fine. Give it here.
Jeff: Hang on!
[The Doctor takes the laptop and sees what Jeff was browsing]
The Doctor: Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff.
---Eleven, The Eleventh Hour

~ * ~

[The Doctor gives Craig a couple of air kisses about six inches from each cheek]
The Doctor: That’s how we greet each other nowadays, isn’t it? I’m the Doctor.
---Eleven, The Lodger
(alright yes this has more to do w/their being an alien than anything else but shhhhh i’m putting it down for ace cluelessness anyway)

~ * ~

[Craig and Sophie are kissing on the sofa. The Doctor enters from their room, and turns their back discreetly before leaving the keys on the sideboard]
Craig: Oi.
Sophie: What, you’re trying to sneak off?
The Doctor: Yes, well, you were sort of busy.
---Eleven, The Lodger

~ * ~

Rory [about baby Melody]: She’s fine. Amy, she’s fine. I checked. She’s beautiful. [tearfully] Oh God, I was going to be cool. I wanted to be cool. Look at me.
Amy: You’re okay. Crying Roman with a baby. Definitely cool. Come here, you. [they kiss]
The Doctor: Urgh. Kissing and crying. I’ll, I’ll be back in a bit.
---Eleven, A Good Man Goes To War

~ * ~

[Rory kisses Amy, then she kisses him back]
The Doctor: So, well then, where now? Or should I just pop down to the swimming pool for a few lengths?
---Eleven, Amy’s Choice

 

KISSING AS EXPRESSIONS OF EXCITEMENT


[The Doctor falls to the ground]
Grace: What is it?
The Doctor: Something’s happening. Something’s happening. Something’s happening.
Grace: Oh my god.
The Doctor: I know who I am! [The Doctor kisses Grace] I am the Doctor!
Grace: Good! Now do that again.
[They do]
---Eight, Doctor Who The TV Movie

~ * ~

“I remember being in San Francisco and it was New Year. I kissed a woman in a park. She was dressed in some satiny stuff and the trees were strung with fairy lights. I kissed her. Quite impulsive for me, jamming my face right into hers, feeling her relax into me. I hardly knew the woman.
I kissed her because she’d given me back part of my memory. She had restored it to me with just an inadvertent word. I wonder if I could somehow find her again and she could tell me more?”
---Eight, The Blue Angel

~ * ~

“‘No time to argue,’ she said, bending over him.
She breathed into the Doctor’s mouth. Suddenly his eyes flew open, and he coughed. Anji sat back quickly. Not quickly enough. The Doctor grabbed her, and planted a huge kiss on her lips.
‘Thank you!’ he cried. ‘You saved my life!’”
---Eight, EarthWorld

~ * ~

The Doctor: Jenny. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Just when you think your favourite lock-picking Victorian chambermaid will never turn up. Jenny.
[The Doctor takes her in their arms, bends her backwards and kisses her on the lips. She slaps them]
The Doctor: You have no idea how good that feels.
---Eleven, The Crimson Horror
(eleven u asshole)

~ * ~

Rory [mid-crisis]: Doesn’t the ship have any defence systems installed?
The Doctor: Good thinking, Rory. [They kiss Rory full on the mouth; he grimaces] Computer, show us weapons and defence systems.
---Eleven, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

~ * ~

“The Doctor stood up, a look of amazement on his face, and then to Fitz’s considerable surprise he bounded over, grabbed his head and planted a kiss squarely on his lips. ‘Oh, Fitz! Fitz, Fitz, Fitz! I’m so glad you’re alive!’”
---Eight, Dominion

~ * ~

“‘It’s as if someone’s just poking at one individual centre in my brain. Somewhere in my visual cortex. Sending a little jolt through the bits associated with a few concepts. Purple. Solid. Floating. Threat. The rest of my brain believes it and fills in the gaps. Yes, that’s it! Thank you, Sam.’
She blinked. ‘What for?’
He caught her by the shoulders, stared her in the eyes, and grinned. She braced herself for the kiss.
‘If I hadn’t tried to explain it to you, it would never have made any sense to me either.’
Just as quickly, he let go, and started the engine with a single twist of the keys.”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘Fitz, that’s. . . it’s… yes! You may have just saved – if that’s – you’ve –’
He gave up on the logjam of words and grabbed Fitz.
‘Ohh no,’ said Fitz, and turned his mouth away. The Doctor just nearly lifted him off his feet with enthusiasm. Then he turned on his heel and bolted for the Bug. ‘Come on!’”
---Eight, Unnatural History

~ * ~

“‘Sam’s alive!’ he exclaimed, delighted. ‘Alive… ’ He swept Titania into his arms, and kissed her, but only on the cheek.
‘That was very careful of you.’
The Doctor nodded quickly. ‘“But take one kiss of my blood-red lips, And sure of your body I will be”, or so I’m told.’
‘I’m sure you are.’”
---Eight, Autumn Mist

~ * ~

[the Doctor’s discovering that Fitz is okay after a period of separation]
“‘Fitz!’ he shouted, distorting the speakers, and making the mooncalves squeal with laughter around the viewscreen. He leaned forward and seemed to kiss the screen and there was more laughter.”
---Eight, Vanishing Point

~ * ~

[a case could be made for the twelve/missy kiss as well? but is much more subjective there, bc their history]

~ * ~

[insert nine + rose’s kiss here] didn’t happen bc excitement, but did happen for reasons other than sexual or romantic attraction, so. am sticking it here

 

TOUCH-AVERSION


“The Doctor was getting to his feet and looked less than comfortable as Anji wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his chest.”
---Eight, The Book of the Still

~ * ~

“'What gave you the impression I’d come to steal a horse?’ With his right hand he stuffed the note that read 'IOU One Horse’ deep into the recesses of a pocket. He’d figure what that was about later.
'Because,’ she began, her fingers starting a slow meander from beneath his earlobe and down over his jaw, 'you are the highway robber, charlatan, fabulist, rogue and confidence trickster, Doctor Know-All. And long have I loved you -’
Her fingers had picked up considerable speed during the litany, and he caught her wrist before the fingers wandered too far a-field. ‘I’m sorry. Say again?’
'Long have I loved you -’
'No, no, all that other business.'”
---Eight, Grimm Reality
(well. not touch averse precisely, but clearly there’s a level of touching they’re not comfy w/, so.)

~ * ~

'My dear Doctor.’ Dupre slipped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him inside. The Doctor hadn’t previously been this close to him, and he caught a whiff of sourness, as if Dupre had recently vomited, or his robe hadn’t been washed for weeks. He slipped free and went to admire the carved demon topping the newel post. 'Beautifully done, isn’t it?’ said Dupre.
'I think I recognise the artist. Teddy Acree?’
'You have gotten around in your few days here, haven’t you? Yes, it’s Teddy’s. He’s finishing up a larger project for me as well.’
'The Nightmare of Horror?’
'You know everything, don’t you?’ Dupre was smiling, but his eyes were hot.
'Some things.’
“'Well,’ Dupre linked arms with him, 'I’ll try to show you some things you don’t know.’ He started up the stairs, then stopped, confused, when he realised he was no longer holding the Doctor who was, somehow, on the step just below him. 'I see you’re a bit of an escape artist.’
'Yes,’ said the Doctor.”
---Eight, The City of the Dead
(i mean u can argue that dupre just smells bad? but this’s going here anyway)

~ * ~

Psi: If you ever need help with another bank heist…
[The Doctor shakes Psi’s hand, Clara hugs him]
Clara: Yeah, it’s not really his area.
[The Doctor makes the Phone Me sign. Psi leaves. Later, Saibra hugs the Doctor]
Saibra: See? I don’t have your face now.
The Doctor: Yeah. I kind of miss that.
Saibra: Oh, shut up. [Saibra leaves the TARDIS. The Doctor rubs their arm where Saibra squeezed them]
---Twelve, Time Heist

~ * ~

The Doctor: Where are we?
River: This way, come on.
The Doctor: What about the box? Stop holding my hand, people don’t do that to me.
---Twelve, The Husbands of River Song

~ * ~

The Doctor: I don’t think that I’m a hugging person now.
---Twelve, Deep Breath

~ * ~

The Doctor: No, no, not the hugging! No, no, no. I’m against the hugging. Please!
---Twelve, Listen

~ * ~

The Doctor: [after having been kissed by Missy; visibly very uncomfortable] Clara, is it over now?
---Twelve, Dark Water

~ * ~

Missy [shortly after kissing Twelve]: I am fully programmed with social interaction norms appropriate to a range of visitors. Please indicate if you’d like me to adjust my intimacy setting.
[The Doctor peels themself off the wall]
The Doctor: Oh, yes, please. Please do that. Do that now right now.
---Twelve. Dark Water

~ * ~

The Doctor: I will hold Clara’s hand, but that’s it.
---Twelve, Last Christmas

~ * ~

The Doctor: I’m not a hugger. Aaaagh, this is not a hug! [hugs Clara]
---Twelve, The Girl Who Died

~ * ~

“I.M. Foreman rolled on to her side, and draped her arm over him. ‘Nothing just happens to you. You’re too involved. Everything’s got a reason.’
The Doctor looked uncomfortable, although she wasn’t sure whether that was because of what she’d said or because of the physical contact.”
---Eight, Interference Book Two

~ * ~

“Iris seized the Doctor and gave him a rough bear hug. A surprisingly powerful one for such a svelte woman.
He coughed and found himself responding.
‘It’s been far too long,’ she said. ‘But I knew you were here.’
‘Hmm,’ he said, through a mouthful of honey-coloured hair.
‘I just know when we’re embroiled in the same adventure. I can feel it in my water.’
‘Hmm,’ he said again, trying to shake her off.”
---Eight, The Blue Angel

~ * ~

“For no reason whatsoever, she hugged him. He was like a spot of heat in the vast coldness of the console room. She could feel him breathing in her grip, his chest rising and falling against hers.
Gently, he disentangled himself from her. 'So what else have you found out?'”
---Eight, Vampire Science
(sort of implied. in general, eight’s fond of giving touch, but less fond of receiving it)

~ * ~

[Jackie kisses the Doctor]
Jackie: Oh, you lovely big fella! Oh, you’re all mine.
The Doctor: Just, just, just put me down!
---Ten, Army of Ghosts

~ * ~

[Minnie gives the Doctor’s bottom a squeeze]
The Doctor: Is that your h-and, Minnie?
---Ten, The End of Time Part 1
(well. ok. u don’t have to be touch-averse to be uncomfortable w/that bUT. putting it here anyway. for reasons)

REFERRING TO UNUSUAL THINGS AS SEXY


The Doctor: Do you have a name?
Idris: Seven hundred years, finally he asks.
The Doctor: But what do I call you?
Idris: I think you call me Sexy.
The Doctor: Only when we’re alone.
---Eleven, The Doctor’s Wife

~ * ~

The Doctor [to a dinosaur]: Oi. Oi. Oi, big, sexy woman.
---Twelve, Deep Breath

 

GIVING ZERO FUCKS ABOUT NUDITY/NEAR-NUDITY


“As they walked up to the group, Emmeline hurried towards them, her wet hair flapping about her face, her underwear sticking to her skin. With everything that had been happening, Sam had barely noticed before, but she now realised how clearly the outline of Emmeline’s breasts could be seen through the wet material. She glanced at the Doctor, feeling a sudden confusion of emotions: possessiveness, jealousy, embarrassment, and even a measure of relief that the Doctor appeared to show no reaction whatsoever to the older girl’s semi-nakedness.”
---Eight, The Bodysnatchers

~ * ~

"Sam clapped an arm across her chest. But if she was trying to hide the fact that she was standing in front of him dressed in nothing more than a wet T-shirt, the gesture had the opposite effect.
’You’re all wet.’ The Doctor stepped back and looked at her. Sam looked away. He snapped his fingers and grinned. ‘Of course, Pickering pushed past you as he came back in. I’ll bet he didn’t notice you watching him any more than he noticed me. Or Silver come to that.’ The Doctor frowned, as if puzzled that Sam had said nothing.’ Are you all right?’
’Am I all right?’ she said loudly.’ We watch a man walk into a fountain in his pyjamas and you ask me if I’m all right?’
The Doctor’s frown deepened, as if he watched people walk into fountains every day but spoke to girls in nightwear only on rare and unavoidable occasions.”
---Eight, Option Lock

~ * ~

Rory: You just summoned aliens back to Earth. Actual aliens, deadly aliens, aliens of death, and now you’re taking your clothes off. Amy, he’s taking his clothes off.
The Doctor: Turn your back if it embarrasses you.
---Eleven, The Eleventh Hour

~ * ~

“A man emerged from the shack, a man with a mane of dark hair and a pale face. He had his hands in the pockets of his coat – no, he had them tucked in the pockets of his waistcoat.
She came to a breathless halt in front of him. It was Fitz! Anji folded her arms across her chest, aware of how visible she must be under the sari. But no, it was the Doctor! And he wasn’t paying any attention to her near-nakedness.”
---Eight, Reckless Engineering
(ok so this is a dream, but. says something about her perception of them at least)

~ * ~

[Stacy just rescued dr who from drowning in the ocean at night]
“He stripped off his soaking jacket and slung it on to the pebbled shore, then began on his shirt. ‘How did you find me? I mean, with all that mist… ’
‘Mist?’ she said warily. ‘There’s no mist tonight.’
‘You didn’t see it then,’ he muttered to himself. ‘The manifestation was meant only for me… ’
She rose, a tall shadow; the thick insulated material of her wetsuit did little to conceal her willowy figure. ‘I never met a doctor who recommended a midnight constitutional in the freezing sea,’ she said archly.
‘And I never met a nocturnal scuba diver. Surely there’s not a good deal you can see?’
She shone a powerful torch in his eyes. He cried out in annoyance and threw the towel over it. Stacy took it with satisfaction and began to dry her own hair.
‘You come prepared,’ noted the Doctor.
‘And you don’t. No change of clothing?’ She frowned as he began to undo his trouser buttons. ‘Were you planning on removing all your clothes here?’
‘Well I can’t leave them on!’ he protested. ‘I could catch my death!’”
---Eight, Timeless

~ * ~

“'Sorry, I’m just running a bit late,’ he said, emerging from the bathroom with just a white towel around his waist. A wisp of steam followed him out. His hair was dry, but clean, although it still fell back from his high forehead in a long, wild tangle of chestnut curls. The blue eyes were bright in the long, pale face.
'Um,’ said Julya.”
---Eight, The Janus Conjunction

 

~ * ~

[this comic]

 

THINGS????


“‘You’re very quiet,’ Calamee said suddenly.
‘Not much chance of being heard above all this,’ he said, having to lean in close to her to be heard. She smiled at him, and the Doctor felt… something… Something odd inside himself. If he’d been a romantic, he’d have described it as his heart racing. But he wasn’t, of course, and simply put it down to stress. Calamee turned away as they carried on walking, and he found himself looking at the curve of her neck, her smooth, brown skin above the collar of his jacket. He found himself examining her hairline and the way it arched over her perfectly proportioned ears.
What the hell is wrong with you? he thought suddenly, angrily, and let go of Calamee’s hand.”
---Eight, Halflife
(talked about here)

~ * ~

Charley: So what sort of things did they get up to in here?
Doctor: Oh, you know, rude things.
Charley: Like?
Doctor: Like, probably drank far too much- (he’s clearly trying to change the subject) and look, they weren’t too careful where they threw their chicken drumsticks.
Charley: Did they have orgies?
Doctor: Charlotte Pollard!! (you can hear the blush tbh)
---Eight, Seasons of Fear pt.3

 

WORD OF GOD


“He’s asexual, unattracted to humans. Or perhaps to anyone.”
---Shalka!Nine, The Scream of the Shalka novelization; The Making of Scream of the Shalka, Paul Cornell’s notes

~ * ~

“Another idea that could, frankly, have been rubbish, was the Doctor’s mobile phone. This was one of Jelena’s suggestions. She was quite cross that, for some reason, the Doctor didn’t have one. I can understand that he doesn’t have sex. That’s fine. But what’s wrong with him having a phone?’”
---Shalka!Nine, The Scream of the Shalka novelization; The Making of Scream of the Shalka, James Goss’s notes

~ * ~

“The Doc’s idea of an orgy is playing chess with an ostrich. His brain doesn’t work in that way. He would find [sex] weird and peculiar. He finds women peculiar. He is quite asexual.”
---Matt Smith in an interview, can’t be arsed to source the quote properly, sorry


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